The Nightmare
by ZebraBow
Summary: COMPLETE xONESHOTx In which Neji is bald and Tenten thinks it is quite funny.... and did I mention an emo Ino, and a ramen hating Naruto?


_**The Nightmare**_

_**By Jacqulin**_

_**Authors Note: Got this idea when I was trying desperately to go to sleep last night. **_

_**Disclaimer: Me own nothing…**_

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Tenten knew there was nothing that could tick off Neji when he was meditating. He would go into a state of deep concentration and ignore everything around him. So why was she trying so hard to get him to pay some attention to her?

Well… the answer is quite simple. It all started a few days ago…

_Flashback_

"_I still don't think you can do it Tenten" Ino said._

"_Do what?" Sakura walked as she walked by. _

"_Tenten sa-aid that Neji-nii-san always-s pays atte--ntion to her." Hinata said._

"_Well, doesn't he. I mean whenever I see him, he is always ignoring everyone except Tenten and Hinata." Sakura said. _

_The girls were all in the Hokages office. Shizune had asked them to watch the office for a while. She and Tsunade were having the weekly village checkup that day. _

"_Now that you mention it Sakura. That is true." Tenten said. Neji would be the ice cube to everyone except Hinata and Tenten. It made sense that he gave special attention to Hinata. He was supposed to protect her from harm and Hinata was the closest relative he had. But why Tenten… She was just a teammate like Lee… so why did she get the special treatment?_

"_What's true?" Tsunade asked as she walked into the office with Shizune in tow. _

"_Neji always pays special attention to Tenten." Sakura explained._

"_Wait a minute! That's not true. Not ALWAYS…" Ino said. "I remember one day when I was walking past the training ground, I saw Neji meditating and he was really concentrating."_

"_Thaaa-t is tru-e Ino-chan. Neji-nii-san is ve-ry devoted to hi-s medita-tion." Hinata stuttered out. _

"_Ha. So he isn't always paying attention to you." Ino said with a finger pointed at Tenten. "I bet you can't get him distracted from his meditation." _

"_I bet I can." Tenten said._

_sigh_

_Everyone knew that Tenten wouldn't back away from a dare and bet. _

"_If there is any gambling going on, I want to be in too." Tsunade said. "I bet that Tenten will be able to distract Neji."_

"_And what will I get if I win?" Ino asked. _

"_Um… how about a week at the Wind Village Spa?" Tsunade said. "And if Tenten wins, you have to give her a new kunai set and you have to get me some more sake."_

"_Ok, that's fine with me." Ino said. _

"_I am counting on you Tenten." Tsunade said._

'Come on Tenten… you have to pull it together. Your role model is counting on you.' Tenten thought as she watched Neji meditate. 'So what can I do to get Neji distracted?'

'Maybe I can use my feminine willies' she thought to her self. '

'Nah… that's too Ino-style…'

'How about amazing him with my medical skills?'

'Oh wait.. I don't have any medical skills. Sakuras the one who has them.'

'Maybe I can faint and Neji will _have _to turn around and be sure if I am ok.'

'No… too Hinata-style. And I'm pretty sure that Neji won't turn around to help if I was on the cold ground while slowly dieing a pitiful death into the crevices of death.'

'GAHHH… what can I do right?'

'I can throw weapons, but I am pretty sure that Neji would see them coming. And I don't feel like dieing a pitiful death today by the hands of a mad Hyuga.'

'Aha… I have an idea… Neji will surely fall for this… wait a minute… why am I talking to myself…. Ahh….. I have gone psycho… maybe I have let Neji Jyuken me too many times..'

Tenten shook her head as though she could clear her mind of all thoughts. She walked over to the meditating ninja and sat down next to him. Usually during this time, Tenten would polish her weapons while Neji meditated.

"Hey Neji! Whatcha doing?" Tenten asked innocently.

"…"

"I see that you aren't in a talking mood…" Tenten said. "But that's ok because I am going to tell you about the horrible nightmare I had last night."

"Tenten, why are you bugging me?" Neji asked. She was so close to get him distracted. But he was still in his meditating position with feet crossed, sitting down Indian style with his eyes closed.

"I am not bugging you Neji-kun. I am spending quality time with you." Tenten said. "Well, anyways my dream went like this…"

"I was walking home one day and guess who I saw?" Tenten asked.

"…"

"Yeah, that's right. I saw Kiba and he started an orphanage for abandoned kitties." Tenten said.

"…"

"And I saw Ino-chan too. She cut off her hair and went emo."

Still no movement from the ninja.

"Did I mention that Sasuke and Itachi became best friends and then had a fight over who would win Orochimaru."

"Hn"

"Naruto gave up ramen and become a vegan." Tenten said.

"And… and …. Garra loved water and he was swimming in hearts printed boxers with a floaty ring around him."

"…"

"Tsunade gave up gambling and Shizune ran away to be a follower of Buddha." Tenten was running out of ideas and fast.

"Sakura-chan died her hair purple."

"…"

"Hinata shouted to the world that she loved Naruto." Tenten could feel the aura of the ninja sitting next to her darken when she mentioned the idea of Hinata and Naruto being together.

"Um, I was just kidding about that one… hehe… Moving on.. Shikamaru became a workaholic…"

"Hn"

"Lee and Gai started an emo band named 'Kill Youth'. And Ino was their biggest fan."

"I see.."

"Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sensei gave up Icha Icha for life. They were soon proclaimed saints later on." Tenten was mentally scoffing. Like they would every willingly give up being perverts.

"Hanabi became an angel and was the nicest girl in Kohana."

"…"

Tenten suddenly thought of an idea. This would push Neji of off his boat. The evil gleam in her eyes started to shine.

"And you know what the worst part was Neji-KUN?" Tenten asked with a coy voice.

"What," Neji said absentmindedly.

"You were bald."

"What," Neji asked. His eyes were alert and ready. Veins in all too familiar white eyes were becoming bigger.

"Yeah, you were bald. And your head was shiny and you strangely resembled an egg." Tenten said while trying not to giggle.

Neji scoffed. "It is not fate for that to happen."

He closed his eyes and went back to meditating.

Tenten secretly smiled. She had succeeded.

She merrily skipped over to a certain blondes house to collect her new kunai set.

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_**Authors Note: It wasn't as good as I imagined it to be. If I get a lot of reviews, I might rewrite this again. **_

_**REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY**_


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